three sixty-six days of twenty-sixteen

by Larah Rebecca

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Another year, another look back to what would I call, the luckiest year in all my life. To be honest, I kinda knew that everything was going my way last 2016 and that it was handed to me like a gift I never had, like ever. I didn’t knew that 2016 was gonna be good because 2015 was by far, the worst year of my life. I thought I was gonna get another shot a life but it ate me up again and spat me out. Gross as it sounds, that’s reality.

The mid part of 2016 to the world was bad. It was terrible. I was there to witness that, which was not a fun way to remember the best that I have. Challenges happened, trends skyrocketed, political views ruined lives and a lot people were taken away, that’s not how I want to remember 2016, this is. Ending 2015 was the right thing to do since I didn’t do much good to me.

Then after a bunch of fireworks and missing fingers, January came. I was pretty preoccupied with a few more month until graduation. I was finishing my thesis and burying myself with stress that I couldn’t handle. Until the usual, rave party came. I was planning to cancel since I didn’t have the budget and time for it but bless my poor soul, I acquired some, by winning a “black out poetry contest” from the local newspaper which was just the beginning of all the opportunities that happened.

With surviving the deadly hearts day, I was once again given another opportunity wherein our film, Ang Matuod nga Kalipay” (True Happiness) became one of the lucky participants for our university’s 1st Documentary and Short Film Festival. Although we didn’t won, it was already a privileged that also lead to another grand door. I became a part of Seabreeze Production, a local production team in our town which competes in the local Film Festival in town. Eventually, it participated in a region-wide film festival which is even, wtf!? but is such an amazing feeling (which lead to attending seminars and workshops about filmmaking). So in between thesis, school and filming I was pretty busy as the little bee (not that damn Bee movie).

March was one of the tough ones. Upon learning that we needed to defend our thesis twice, made me angry, depress and pretty much drove me insane to not having showered for 2 days just to able to get my degree, but that piece of paper was totally worth.

So April came and finally I earned my degree in Journalism and graduated from University at the age of 20. Along that month, the film that I had to juggled during thesis days won 2nd best film in the local Film Festival which is amazing. I am sooo looking forward to more years with this production team. I learned a lot and it keeps the fire burning.

Facing the adult reality of job was hard af. I tried applying for job after job but kept on getting rejected. Until June, then say hello to me as a career girl/trying hard to be an adult/still a struggling 20-year old.

Turning 21 made me realize, that my taxes are big and my salary seems okay, that whatever my mother told me when I was younger was all true, that working hard can sometimes have its benefits and mishaps. Meeting new people was a fun experience too, says the introvert. Throughout the months, I’ve develop a new habit of obsessing over Broadway, apartments, documentaries, restaurants, drag race, museums and cooking. Maybe this is because I was struck with reality when I got hospitalized of an unhealthy living situation which made me now, self-aware of what I eat and when I drink.

I’ve distance myself with my profile online maybe because I was busy building who I am outside which is good. I became more open than before, vocal than the usual. I know what I need than what I want. I’m still growing and still learning but then, there are days where I just want to be a kid again. I still have high hopes with the future, like going abroad and living there or improved my job and who I am. I know right now, I can only reach a few but maybe this year I can grab a hold of them, tightly.

So, 2017 please be good to me and let your sparkle shine down on me, I’ll be good, I swear.

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